"There are too many people today who, instead of feeling hurt, are acting out their hurt; instead of acknowledging pain, they're inflicting pain on others. Rather than risking feeling disappointed, they're choosing to live disappointed."~ Brene Brown
Last week I touched upon the importance of caring for your anxious, exhausted self in the wake of a life-altering event.
Today's fabulous quote by Brene Brown tells us why.
It seems that the world is full of angry, defeated, and sad people. We are divided by politics, religion, culture, and even within our families (myself included).
The news is full of anger, blame, and fear which trickles down into the lives of many who jump on the band wagon, ready to fight against unknown villains.
But how you feel about the world is just a reflection of what's going on inside of you. Are you feeling outraged? Apathetic? Fearful? Bored? Powerless?
If so, then ask yourself: Who or what in your own life are you feeling outraged or apathetic toward? Is fear running your life? Where do you feel powerless? Or bored, or helpless?
Whatever you're feeling, it's your responsibility to notice how your feelings are impacting your life.
It's easy to pass them off onto the world that looks like it's spinning out of control, but the truth is, YOU may be spinning out of control.
If so, don't act out your emotions by grumbling, yelling, or running for cover under warm, fuzzy blankets.
Instead, feeeeeeel them.
When my long-term relationship was crashing a decade ago, I was pissed. I'd moved my family cross-country for a special kind of relationship, but instead found myself in an abusive one.
I acted out my anger and sadness with my kids, in my job, and with God.
It wasn't until I realized how destructive this was that I decided to adopt a new tact. I mourned the loss of what I expected the relationship to be, and accepted it for what it was.
No, that wasn't easy, and yes, I had a lot of tough emotions to work through.
I cried, I stomped, I journaled, I pouted.
But as I felt each one, I became better equipped to handle my own emotions around the loss, and felt better able to let him go.
And when I stopped acting out my emotions on others, they stopped feeling so overwhelming. They lightened up over time, so I was willing to lean into feeling them more often and more fully.
Then a crazy thing happened: the most intense emotions simmered down, then eventually disappeared. Because I'd been willing to feel them instead of hide them or shirk them off onto others, they vanished.
And when they went MIA, I was able to think about the loss of my relationship with more compassion--and some days--even gratitude. The anger and sadness were no longer mucking up my energy field because I had made room for something better:
Love.
Instead of lashing out at others for your bad day, or yelling at your spouse for the loss of your job, feel your disappointment and anger and sadness and rage.
Because, I promise you, when you put your attention on feeling instead of lashing out, the energy of your emotions will eventually dissipate.
The trick is to feel the intensity of your emotions without injuring others. Then feel them until they no longer need to be felt.
How do you know when they don't need to be felt anymore? You'll begin to feel better, look better, and won't feel so tangled up in your emotions for as long.
So do yourself and everyone else a favor and feeeeel what's bothering you.
Your world will take on a new hue and you will feel happier. The anger and sadness will simply be gone, leaving more joy and happiness in its place.
Last week I touched upon the importance of caring for your anxious, exhausted self in the wake of a life-altering event.
Today's fabulous quote by Brene Brown tells us why.
It seems that the world is full of angry, defeated, and sad people. We are divided by politics, religion, culture, and even within our families (myself included).
The news is full of anger, blame, and fear which trickles down into the lives of many who jump on the band wagon, ready to fight against unknown villains.
But how you feel about the world is just a reflection of what's going on inside of you. Are you feeling outraged? Apathetic? Fearful? Bored? Powerless?
If so, then ask yourself: Who or what in your own life are you feeling outraged or apathetic toward? Is fear running your life? Where do you feel powerless? Or bored, or helpless?
Whatever you're feeling, it's your responsibility to notice how your feelings are impacting your life.
It's easy to pass them off onto the world that looks like it's spinning out of control, but the truth is, YOU may be spinning out of control.
If so, don't act out your emotions by grumbling, yelling, or running for cover under warm, fuzzy blankets.
Instead, feeeeeeel them.
When my long-term relationship was crashing a decade ago, I was pissed. I'd moved my family cross-country for a special kind of relationship, but instead found myself in an abusive one.
I acted out my anger and sadness with my kids, in my job, and with God.
It wasn't until I realized how destructive this was that I decided to adopt a new tact. I mourned the loss of what I expected the relationship to be, and accepted it for what it was.
No, that wasn't easy, and yes, I had a lot of tough emotions to work through.
I cried, I stomped, I journaled, I pouted.
But as I felt each one, I became better equipped to handle my own emotions around the loss, and felt better able to let him go.
And when I stopped acting out my emotions on others, they stopped feeling so overwhelming. They lightened up over time, so I was willing to lean into feeling them more often and more fully.
Then a crazy thing happened: the most intense emotions simmered down, then eventually disappeared. Because I'd been willing to feel them instead of hide them or shirk them off onto others, they vanished.
And when they went MIA, I was able to think about the loss of my relationship with more compassion--and some days--even gratitude. The anger and sadness were no longer mucking up my energy field because I had made room for something better:
Love.
Instead of lashing out at others for your bad day, or yelling at your spouse for the loss of your job, feel your disappointment and anger and sadness and rage.
Because, I promise you, when you put your attention on feeling instead of lashing out, the energy of your emotions will eventually dissipate.
The trick is to feel the intensity of your emotions without injuring others. Then feel them until they no longer need to be felt.
How do you know when they don't need to be felt anymore? You'll begin to feel better, look better, and won't feel so tangled up in your emotions for as long.
So do yourself and everyone else a favor and feeeeel what's bothering you.
Your world will take on a new hue and you will feel happier. The anger and sadness will simply be gone, leaving more joy and happiness in its place.
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