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Katie Kramer, RN/Life Coach/Author
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Your Body, Your Ally

7/25/2017

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"You're one piece of a jigsaw puzzle: as you begin to move into your true shape, the pieces around you either change to match you, or stop fitting." ~ Martha Beck
 

I lived in Santa Fe for 17 years; it's where much of my adult life happened: I established myself as a Pediatric/Maternity Nurse and Instructor; my three children were born and raised; we bought two homes; and my 15-year marriage ended. Some of my most cherished--and difficult--memories are of Santa Fe.

It's also a place known for its rich culture, art, picturesque landscape, and as a lesser-known characteristic: its woo-woo.

Santa Feans love their crystals, Wiccan, prayer circles, Tribal sweat lodges, and eastern medicine influences.

And after my marriage imploded, I got very involved in the woo-woo. I chased it; I craved it; and when I practiced it consistently, it felt like home to me.

So it was no surprise that I consulted a Natural Healer after dealing with colon upset that wouldn't go away, and western medicine couldn't heal.

But when she began to practice her magic on me, I felt a bit skeptical, even worried.

After a lengthy intake and her genuine interest in all of my symptoms, she asked me to stand up and place my arms at right angles to my body. I lifted my arms as if ready for take-off, then she placed a small vial of something in each hand.

She stood in front of me and in one motion, her hands pushed both of my arms down toward the floor.

To my surprise, one arm stayed steady while one became weak and limp.

"This is the one," she said, as she handed me the vial that was tucked into the fist of the arm that stayed upright. "This is what your body prefers."

She was right, of course. My gut did heal with that preferred medication, but what really impressed me was how she knew it. Or rather, how my body knew which remedy to "choose".

I have since practiced this many times--with food, with decisions, and preferences. Bodies go limp in the presence of things that are not right for them, and bodies stay strong when presented with something that's good or nourishing.

You can practice this right now without even doing the weird "Arm Thing"--as my Coaching Mentor calls it.

Think of something you love: sandy beaches, mangoes, or your favorite person. It doesn't matter what you picture. What matters is how your body reacts.

Do you feel a skip in your heart, a surge of energy, or a feeling of elation or peace?

Now think of something you hate. How does your body react? Do you feel sluggish, unmotivated, or sad?

See? You now know a bit of woo-woo to help you with decisions that have once eluded or stumped you.

Why? Because your body is your biggest ally. It knows what your mind does not. The problem is, we usually don't trust our body's signals of pain or sickness or elation because we've been conditioned to believe that our minds are stronger and smarter.

Not so.

Your only goal as you practice this form of woo is to follow your body's joy, peace, and excitement. If your body responds with less than anything but heart-jumping whistling, don't follow it, don't choose it, and don't do it.

But don't be surprised if you begin to love this practice so much that you excitedly share it with family and friends, and they think you're off your rocker.

Practicing anything that isn't considered logical feels a bit foreign and weird to most people--sometimes too weird. And that often equals threatening.

But no need to fret.

As you move into your true shape--whether you're chasing woo-woo or something else--the people who are closest to you are bound to feel a bit displaced. They will either try to fit into their true shape, too, or they will stop fitting with you altogether.

If you find people or things disappearing from your life, consider it a blessing, because your body--in all its wisdom--is helping you create a life that fits you best.

If you listen, your body's signals will enlighten you about whom to hang out with, what to eat, where to go on vacation, and how to make a profitable and fun living.

Try it...then let me know how wise your body is.  


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Would You Choose Option B?

5/27/2017

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"Option A is not available, so let's just kick the shit out of Option B." ~ Sheryl Sandberg

Watch this poignant video about how one woman turned the tragedy of losing her husband into choosing a new way of living life without him.

Many of us have experienced the devastation of losing someone or something, and we've probably all wished that our losses would not have happened.

But sadly, with divorce, death, or a loss of a dream, we don't ever get the chance to have our old lives back.

What we do get is the opportunity to live life in a new way by adopting a new perspective, even in the wake of monumental grief.

When my husband's secret life was revealed, our children were just one, three, and five. Oh, how I had spent many hours wishing that his disclosure of addiction hadn't happened!

As expected, I was immediately thrown into shock and pain--not just for hours--but for days, weeks and months. Living through the subsequent 20 months was like getting poked in the eye with a hot skewer.

Repeatedly.

I didn't necessarily want Option A anymore, but I did want back what I thought I had: a loyal husband and devoted father.

But that was no longer an option.

Thankfully, I had enough grit to seek out a fresh start, and choose a new way of life for me and three kids.

I wanted to live with fearless authenticity. I wanted a life filled with love and excitement. I wanted my children to experience a healthy family, even if they came from a broken marriage.

Without knowing it, I had chosen Option B.

And twenty one years later, I have zero regrets.  

 
Choosing Option B allowed me to lean into a world filled with new possibilities. I challenged old thoughts and behaviors; I joined new groups; I made new friends; I traveled more; I adopted gratitude as a way of life; and I thrived in the face of heartache and loss. I even changed careers to empower other women in the same situation.

And as we experienced new challenges and freedoms as a family, our lives opened up and showered us with all sorts of blessings. Money and jobs appeared out of nowhere just when they were needed; we moved cross-country at an optimal time; we found our new tribes who have remained our closest friends.

While I once felt devastated about losing Option A, I have never looked back and wished that I could reclaim my former life. 

Because losing Option A gave me and my children so much more in return: a full life in all of its messiness.

We learned that life can be both beautiful and sad; full of blessings and losses; gratifying and troublesome; and inspiring and tragic.

But we've never chosen to option-out of our lives, despite the risks of a broken heart or a painful truth.

I've since chosen Option B a few more times, and I have reaped invaluable rewards--again. I am now confident that I can choose Option B over and over and live through it with some semblance of grace.

How about you? Are you willing to choose Option B if Option A is no longer available?

I happen to love Option B.

Its unexpected blessings have yielded far more than I would have ever known without first losing Option A.  

Much love,  
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Do You Feel Your Pain, or Act it Out?

5/20/2017

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"There are too many people today who, instead of feeling hurt, are acting out their hurt; instead of acknowledging pain, they're inflicting pain on others. Rather than risking feeling disappointed, they're choosing to live disappointed."~ Brene Brown
 
Last week I touched upon the importance of caring for your anxious, exhausted self in the wake of a life-altering event.


Today's fabulous quote by Brene Brown tells us why.

It seems that the world is full of angry, defeated, and sad people. We are divided by politics, religion, culture, and even within our families (myself included).

The news is full of anger, blame, and fear which trickles down into the lives of many who jump on the band wagon, ready to fight against unknown villains.

But how you feel about the world is just a reflection of what's going on inside of you. Are you feeling outraged? Apathetic? Fearful? Bored? Powerless?

If so, then ask yourself: Who or what in your own life are you feeling outraged or apathetic toward? Is fear running your life? Where do you feel powerless? Or bored, or helpless? 

Whatever you're feeling, it's your responsibility to notice how your feelings are impacting your life.

It's easy to pass them off onto the world that looks like it's spinning out of control, but the truth is, YOU may be spinning out of control.

If so, don't act out your emotions by grumbling, yelling, or running for cover under warm, fuzzy blankets.

Instead, feeeeeeel them.

When my long-term relationship was crashing a decade ago, I was pissed. I'd moved my family cross-country for a special kind of relationship, but instead found myself in an abusive one.

I acted out my anger and sadness with my kids, in my job, and with God.

It wasn't until I realized how destructive this was that I decided to adopt a new tact. I mourned the loss of what I expected the relationship to be, and accepted it for what it was.

No, that wasn't easy, and yes, I had a lot of tough emotions to work through.

I cried, I stomped, I journaled, I pouted.

But as I felt each one, I became better equipped to handle my own emotions around the loss, and felt better able to let him go.

And when I stopped acting out my emotions on others, they stopped feeling so overwhelming. They lightened up over time, so I was willing to lean into feeling them more often and more fully.

Then a crazy thing happened: the most intense emotions simmered down, then eventually disappeared. Because I'd been willing to feel them instead of hide them or shirk them off onto others, they vanished.

And when they went MIA, I was able to think about the loss of my relationship with more compassion--and some days--even gratitude. The anger and sadness were no longer mucking up my energy field because I had made room for something better:

Love.

Instead of lashing out at others for your bad day, or yelling at your spouse for the loss of your job, feel your disappointment and anger and sadness and rage.

Because, I promise you, when you put your attention on feeling instead of lashing out, the energy of your emotions will eventually dissipate.

The trick is to feel the intensity of your emotions without injuring others. Then feel them until they no longer need to be felt.

How do you know when they don't need to be felt anymore? You'll begin to feel better, look better, and won't feel so tangled up in your emotions for as long.

So do yourself and everyone else a favor and feeeeel what's bothering you.

Your world will take on a new hue and you will feel happier. The anger and sadness will simply be gone, leaving more joy and happiness in its place.

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    Author

    After being raised in the mid-west, I migrated south for high school (with a year in Brazil) and college, and ventured west for a long marriage (and later, divorce)...and eventually landed in the northwest--my real home. Sigh. 

    I am a Teacher, Healer, Single Mother, Nurse, Coach, Columnist, Artist, Author, Traveler, Motivator...eager to share myself with you. 

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