I tend to have spiritual connections with many people in my life. I have predicted events, I've "seen" people in their struggles (even as they live cross-country), and I've energetically picked up when someone's in need of assistance.
How could I know that she needed a phone call? Did I really "see" him on my porch, reaching out to me? Was that a real voice I heard, or just my imagination?
After many weird and wild events over most of my life, I've learned not to question any of it anymore.
I just roll with it...
So it shouldn't be a surprise when I have a kindred experience with new people, but it always leaves me speechless.
But when Jeff entered my life, I was not prepared for how he would leave an indelible mark on me.
Our connection was immediate and our conversations were deep, yet playful. You wouldn't have known that I had only been in his company for a total of 9 hours. But in that short time, I learned more about him than I'd learned about other men whom I'd known for months, some even years.
Based on an email exchange we'd developed during the previous few weeks, we met for lunch, which happened to turn into a full and eventful day. He was vulnerable, kind, and compassionate. He teared up when he recounted having to fire an employee in his previous high-powered job, and later cried while describing how his brother's brain cancer was devastating his family.
I knew I was drawn to him on some whacky spiritual plane, but I had no idea how that would play out.
Despite never seeing him again, he came to mind several times over several months. About six months after we'd met, I decided to reach out with a text. I was following what felt right--to reach out, in concern, because something about him kept calling out to me.
Nothing ever came back.
A few weeks ago I was visiting my brothers-in-law in Austin when the subject of Jeff came up. Having previously lived in Texas before moving to Seattle, it felt natural to talk about him. Upon my return home, I decided to look him up.
It took a second and third glance at my computer screen before I realized that I'd stumbled upon his obituary.
The date of his death was months before, when I'd reached out with my text.
Jeff impacted me deeply and I knew it the moment it happened. I didn't know why, and I had no foresight about how our connection would play out (or not). I just knew that I'd been spiritually and profoundly touched.
His passing has taught me that we never know how, where, or when we may leave an impression on others, so never underestimate your impact in the world.
Be bold, be brave, speak up, be yourself.
You won't be able to predict who may benefit from you showing up, but the world will be changed because you did.
Namaste.