"Option A is not available, so let's just kick the shit out of Option B." ~ Sheryl Sandberg
Watch this poignant video about how one woman turned the tragedy of losing her husband into choosing a new way of living life without him.
Many of us have experienced the devastation of losing someone or something, and we've probably all wished that our losses would not have happened.
But sadly, with divorce, death, or a loss of a dream, we don't ever get the chance to have our old lives back.
What we do get is the opportunity to live life in a new way by adopting a new perspective, even in the wake of monumental grief.
When my husband's secret life was revealed, our children were just one, three, and five. Oh, how I had spent many hours wishing that his disclosure of addiction hadn't happened!
As expected, I was immediately thrown into shock and pain--not just for hours--but for days, weeks and months. Living through the subsequent 20 months was like getting poked in the eye with a hot skewer.
Repeatedly.
I didn't necessarily want Option A anymore, but I did want back what I thought I had: a loyal husband and devoted father.
But that was no longer an option.
Thankfully, I had enough grit to seek out a fresh start, and choose a new way of life for me and three kids.
I wanted to live with fearless authenticity. I wanted a life filled with love and excitement. I wanted my children to experience a healthy family, even if they came from a broken marriage.
Without knowing it, I had chosen Option B.
And twenty one years later, I have zero regrets.
Choosing Option B allowed me to lean into a world filled with new possibilities. I challenged old thoughts and behaviors; I joined new groups; I made new friends; I traveled more; I adopted gratitude as a way of life; and I thrived in the face of heartache and loss. I even changed careers to empower other women in the same situation.
And as we experienced new challenges and freedoms as a family, our lives opened up and showered us with all sorts of blessings. Money and jobs appeared out of nowhere just when they were needed; we moved cross-country at an optimal time; we found our new tribes who have remained our closest friends.
While I once felt devastated about losing Option A, I have never looked back and wished that I could reclaim my former life.
Because losing Option A gave me and my children so much more in return: a full life in all of its messiness.
We learned that life can be both beautiful and sad; full of blessings and losses; gratifying and troublesome; and inspiring and tragic.
But we've never chosen to option-out of our lives, despite the risks of a broken heart or a painful truth.
I've since chosen Option B a few more times, and I have reaped invaluable rewards--again. I am now confident that I can choose Option B over and over and live through it with some semblance of grace.
How about you? Are you willing to choose Option B if Option A is no longer available?
I happen to love Option B.
Its unexpected blessings have yielded far more than I would have ever known without first losing Option A.
Much love,
Watch this poignant video about how one woman turned the tragedy of losing her husband into choosing a new way of living life without him.
Many of us have experienced the devastation of losing someone or something, and we've probably all wished that our losses would not have happened.
But sadly, with divorce, death, or a loss of a dream, we don't ever get the chance to have our old lives back.
What we do get is the opportunity to live life in a new way by adopting a new perspective, even in the wake of monumental grief.
When my husband's secret life was revealed, our children were just one, three, and five. Oh, how I had spent many hours wishing that his disclosure of addiction hadn't happened!
As expected, I was immediately thrown into shock and pain--not just for hours--but for days, weeks and months. Living through the subsequent 20 months was like getting poked in the eye with a hot skewer.
Repeatedly.
I didn't necessarily want Option A anymore, but I did want back what I thought I had: a loyal husband and devoted father.
But that was no longer an option.
Thankfully, I had enough grit to seek out a fresh start, and choose a new way of life for me and three kids.
I wanted to live with fearless authenticity. I wanted a life filled with love and excitement. I wanted my children to experience a healthy family, even if they came from a broken marriage.
Without knowing it, I had chosen Option B.
And twenty one years later, I have zero regrets.
Choosing Option B allowed me to lean into a world filled with new possibilities. I challenged old thoughts and behaviors; I joined new groups; I made new friends; I traveled more; I adopted gratitude as a way of life; and I thrived in the face of heartache and loss. I even changed careers to empower other women in the same situation.
And as we experienced new challenges and freedoms as a family, our lives opened up and showered us with all sorts of blessings. Money and jobs appeared out of nowhere just when they were needed; we moved cross-country at an optimal time; we found our new tribes who have remained our closest friends.
While I once felt devastated about losing Option A, I have never looked back and wished that I could reclaim my former life.
Because losing Option A gave me and my children so much more in return: a full life in all of its messiness.
We learned that life can be both beautiful and sad; full of blessings and losses; gratifying and troublesome; and inspiring and tragic.
But we've never chosen to option-out of our lives, despite the risks of a broken heart or a painful truth.
I've since chosen Option B a few more times, and I have reaped invaluable rewards--again. I am now confident that I can choose Option B over and over and live through it with some semblance of grace.
How about you? Are you willing to choose Option B if Option A is no longer available?
I happen to love Option B.
Its unexpected blessings have yielded far more than I would have ever known without first losing Option A.
Much love,
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