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Katie Kramer, RN/Life Coach/Author
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The Power of Knowing

9/16/2017

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As a nurse, I'm pretty fastidious about getting my annual check-ups. It's the only time I see an MD because I've been blessed with good health.  
 
But after my annual blood draw last month, I was referred to a hematologist, a doctor who specializes in blood disorders.  
 
I was surprised, but not worried, because when I asked myself if something felt wrong in my body, my immediate "knowing" was Nope.  
 
I also rationalized that if something was really wrong, I would've had an appointment immediately, but instead, I was given a date a month out.  
 
I promptly forgot about it until I had to rearrange my work schedule to go, but feeling concerned didn't even occur to me.    
 
Until, of course, I pulled up to a building today that read: "Cancer Care Center."
 
For the first time, it felt just a bit too real.  
 
As I climbed the steps toward the bathroom, I asked myself again: Do I resonate with having cancer?
 
Again, I heard: Not one bit.  
 
At the check-in desk, my blase attitude began to lean toward concern as I was handed a large stack of papers to fill out. When I mentioned that this was only a consultation, the gal replied that everyone--whether diagnosed with blood disorders or cancer--gets the same packet.  
 
The visit suddenly felt a bit more worrisome.  
 
Everyone in the waiting room looked my way and I imagined them thinking, "There's the new girl. She still looks well, but everything is about to change for her."   
 
I sat next to a couple waiting for their loved one who was coming out of a procedure. I heard one of them whisper, "Thank you, Jesus" when a nurse informed them that all had gone well.   
 
I filled out the stack of papers in minutes since most of my answers were negative: I do not have any symptoms. I don't have pain or nausea or headaches. I have no history of problems, and I only take 3 pills a day, two of them non-prescription.  
 
Then I glanced at the TV screen on the wall that was showing a film about cancer survivors. I was surprised when I saw my sweet friends' face, her hair cropped close to her head, talking about her experience with cancer. She had survived, but her prognosis on that day was still unknown. I could see the sadness and worry in her eyes as she described life with cancer.  
 
I suddenly felt such love and awe for her and for the painful and triumphant fight she had endured. I was nearly crying.   
 
Then the thought hit me: This could be me, too. What if my world changes today, in an instant, just like Annie's had?   
 
With blurry eyes, I returned my packet to the desk. My mind tried to imagine what life would look like with a diagnosis of cancer but I quickly dismissed it.    
 
There is nothing wrong with me, I reminded myself.  
 
Instead, I imagined what I wished I had done before today, before a possible and sudden change in plans.  
 
And that's when I felt a powerful surge overtake me. It was the same surge that ran through my body when my life was altered some years ago:  
 
I was standing in my living room, "knowing" that divorce was imminent. All that we'd planned for, saved for, and fought for was going to be lost. My only regret was that we'd wasted so much time doing things that barely mattered.  
 
In that moment, I no longer cared about our money, our cars, or nice home, because it would soon be gone. What mattered was our happiness, our dreams, and living life fully.  
 
That profound experience turned me around, pointing me toward a future of chasing dreams instead of merely wishing them to happen. I began to live boldly for the next several years.  
 
Until I stopped. The details about why I stopped aren't important here, but the sentiment to continue living boldly was with me today.  
 
There is little time to waste. It's time to go for everything I want. NOW.  
 
My reverie was interrupted by someone calling my name. I was taken to my room where (no surprise) my blood pressure registered 150/100. I told the CNA how unfair it was to take it minutes before a consultation in a cancer care center.  
 
She agreed and we shared a good laugh.  
 
Minutes later, the doc came bounding in and his first words were: "What are you doing here?"
 
Assuming he was commiserating with me about the possibility that my life could change for me today, I answered, "I haven't a clue; you tell me."
 
He wheeled his chair close to me with his face inches from mine and said, "Nothing is wrong with you. Not one damn thing. You shouldn't even be here."
 
I almost cried.
 
He opened his computer screen to show me an eight-year history of labs. Although I had an obvious trend toward falling lymphocyte values, my overall hematologic trend was perfect. I took my first normal breath since seeing Annie on the screen.  
 
And then it was over.   
 
Doc led me to the check-out desk where he put my paperwork down on the counter in front of me. With his pen, he drew a slash across the page.  
 
"No charge" he told the receptionist, then turned to me and reached for my hand. "Nice to meet you; I never want to see you here again." He winked as he walked away.  
 
I teared up: for his generosity, for his humanity, and for my relief.    
 
I knew all along that I was okay.  
 
But the possibility that today could have just as easily ended in a different outcome scared me enough to consider how I live my life.   

It also proved that I know, without any doubt, that I am aware of what is right and true for me and my life. 
 
I have changes to make, big things to create, and places I want to go. Coming a bit too close to an altered future shook me up enough to expedite my roadmap.    
 
I refuse to waste another minute indulging in fear or hesitance before venturing forward.    
 
So this is my message for you: What do you already know to be true for yourself and your life?  
 
Listen to it.  
 
My experience today also begs the question: If you had six months to live, what would you change today? What would you do, where would you go? How would you live?  
 
Then go out there and do it.   
 
Because your life can change with a single blood draw. 
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Are You Playing Full-Out in Your Life?

3/26/2017

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"A person will be called to account on judgment day for every permissible things he might have enjoyed, but did not." ~ The Talmud

I am constantly reminded of how short our lives really are, and how crucial it is to our own state of happiness that we enjoy our lives to the fullest.

A few years ago, a friend shared the following story on Facebook. It has haunted me ever since:  


He had just lost his beloved 26-year-old niece, and he and his parents had stepped in to care for his great-nieces, who were 2 and 5 years old.

When kindergarten started for the 5-year-old that Fall, my friend was volunteering in her classroom and the activity that morning was to build something out of Legos, then show-and-tell it with the class.


My friend's niece confidently took her finished piece to the front of the class and set the square design onto the desk in front of her.

"It's a People-moving machine," she began. "It takes people to heaven," she explained while she maneuvered the claw-like appendage on the back of the "machine" and slid the Lego box across the table.


 
She went on to explain--as she bounced on her toes, clearly excited about her creation--that "Once you get to heaven, you have to answer one question to get through the gates."

Beaming, she looked into the faces of dozens of classmates and their parents, then continued:

"God will ask you: 'So, did you have fun?'"

As my friend relayed the story, he emphasized that the adults in the classroom went silent as they looked at each other in discomfort.

How could a child--who should've been grieving--be so wise?


I cried when I read that post, and nearly 3 years later, it's still hard for me to swallow.

Five powerful words: So, did you have fun?


This very young child had just lost her very young mother. She was living in a new home--surrounded by people she knew and loved--but it wasn't her environment, her home, or her familiar space. 

Yet she already understood the value of life. And life continued despite her huge loss.

And according to her, life was about playing.

I played a lot when my kids were young. Having three to entertain daily was easy when I could take them to the park, the pool, McDonald's play area, a friend's home, a museum, or on some sort of trip.

The kids were both my excuse and my reason for playing. And we played hard. We also traveled often.

But now that they are off into their own lives, my level of play seems to have slowed down. I still play, but I don't often have the same child-like enthusiasm, or unbridled faith to race into new situations without some hesitance.

Being with my children brought out the kid in me. It also required that I play full-out, which I did. Some days, I was the biggest kid of all. And I loved it.

You'd think that now when I'm free from raising kids, I'd have this playing-thing down pat.

But you would be sadly mistaken.

Playing often gets stifled, put on the back burner, or ignored because I have other "important" things to do. And I usually attach it to needing money, but there are so many ways to play without costing a single cent!

Oy.

How about you? Do you play enough? Do you play full-out? Or, like me, do you often use excuses to forego playing more?

I don't know about you, but I'm ready to change this self-defeating habit. I'm ready to stop making excuses and PLAY FULL-OUT!

I challenge you. And I challenge myself.

Let's go play like children. Like nobody's watching.

Then tell me all about it...

 
Much love,
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Pay It Forward...and Watch Magic Unfold!

3/14/2017

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As a voracious reader, I have a stack of books at my bedside at all times, ready for my nightly ritual of reading before sleep. And because I'm a self-help junkie, most of my books are about improving my life, which provides great fodder for my client's lives.

I'm particularly fond of books like The Secret, along with its precursor, Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting--both which use practical exercises to convince us (skeptics) that we really are being looked after, loved, and taken care of.

And that we really are cosmic magnets who can manifest anything we want.

Recently, I ran across another similar set of books by Pam Grout, and was instantly hooked. I wanted to try some of the exercises she outlines because it's fun AND because I'm skeptical by nature. 

A bit of back story: it is not lost on me that magic happens to me all the time. Really. In many different forms, since I was a kid. It's comical sometimes because my "luck" and good fortune are very prolific.

You'd think I'd be a seasoned believer by now, but I'm not. 

Sadly, I remain a skeptic about getting things that I really, really want. I receive free coffee and win raffles so often that they no longer surprise me.

But when it comes to what I long for, can I count on receiving those things, too? 


In E-cubed, Grout shared a story about running around a large city with her daughter, leaving five dollar bills for people to find. She then challenged her readers to do the same, AND to expect some form of universal response within 72 hours.

So at the end of my vacation last week, I took her up on the challenge.

On March 7th, I posted this on Facebook:

"I paid it forward today and was privileged to see the results. I was nearly in tears watching how it lit up her face; how she took a picture of her surprise; and how she kept staring and smiling. I was thrilled she had no idea who it was from."

The weird part is, I'd been led by my intuition to pay it forward to that particular empty seat. And when a woman sat down, she was told by the guy in charge that she was in the wrong seat. Undeterred, she said she'd been told to sit there by another personnel member.

Funny how magic works.

A mere 3 days later, I posted this:


"Money has been floating around me for weeks: free hotel stays; rebate checks in the mail; a hefty raise at work; gifts of coffee, a ferry ride, and Tony Robbins tickets; and a tax return that is just enough to pay off some debt!"
Do I think there is a correlation between paying it forward and receiving so much in return? You bet I do!

And do you know what the most surprising thing is?

Much of this monetary reward happened in just ONE WEEK!

And here's another piece of magic to add:

When I purchased Pam's first book of the series, E-squared, I kept its sequel on my Amazon wish list to purchase at a later date.

Last week when I visited a used book store on an island that is only accessible by ferry, the first book I saw was a brand-new copy of E-cubed. It was sitting on the shelf in such a way that it was impossible for me not to spot it. The clincher? It cost just 8 bucks!


You guys, this is what magic looks like.

It feels like a giddy high.

And if often seems impossible. 

But it is oh, sooooo fun to play! 

Do you recognize magic when it happens? 

Be on the look-out for it, because it's everywhere. You just have to be open to the possibility that it's real.

Then expect it to show up in some mysterious fashion. I say "mysterious" because it rarely shows up how we think it ought to.

I could've expected blessings in the form of bills; what I received was a big cosmic payback in the form of experiences, treats, dates, discounts, fun, and yes, some cash, too!

If you don't believe me, try paying it forward with a kind gesture, a free coffee, or anything you feel compelled to offer
.

Then watch your life explode with a magical high-five! 

 
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    Author

    After being raised in the mid-west, I migrated south for high school (with a year in Brazil) and college, and ventured west for a long marriage (and later, divorce)...and eventually landed in the northwest--my real home. Sigh. 

    I am a Teacher, Healer, Single Mother, Nurse, Coach, Columnist, Artist, Author, Traveler, Motivator...eager to share myself with you. 

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