I spent years after my divorce attending self-help workshops where my thoughts, beliefs and habits were blown wide open in just a weekend. I felt so at-home in the rooms with others like me that I continued attending the workshops as a volunteer for several years.
As a member of 12-step, I'd also spent many years walking my talk. I was happy, fulfilled, and trusted that my world was perfectly imperfect.
I was convinced that I was living by magic when my childhood sweetie re-entered my life and I eventually made plans to move cross-country with my 3 kids to be with him.
Then in no time at all, my perfectly imperfect life all went to hell. My relationship was a struggle, he dismissed all I'd learned and loved as "silly," and I began to believe him.
I gave away my books, quit my recovery program, and spent many days in tears. Where had my happy and fulfilling life slipped away to?
The harsh truth was that I had not fully trusted my reality, so I tapped into his, instead. And in doing so, I began to slowly lose it all again: my serenity, my recovery, and my spirituality--hallmark symptoms of co-dependency.
It took many years to recover myself from underneath another addict. I was stunned at how quickly I'd fallen, and appalled with myself because I knew better.
How could I have done this again?
Fast forward several years later. I just returned from another powerfully, life-changing workshop and I was reminded how much I love my Tribe of Weirdos who strive to become the best version of themselves.
I have recovered more of myself, but this wasn't my first rodeo. I know that searching for what stirs my soul is healing. I had it once, lost it, then searched again. But making sure I hang onto whatever it is that makes me feels alive is key.
What about you?
Where have you been losing your soul, your Mojo, or yourself as you dismiss who you really are? It's never too late to reclaim yourself and your life.
Follow what leads you, make joy your goal, and listen to your small but steady voice that keeps calling you Home.
Then never, ever let it go.
As a member of 12-step, I'd also spent many years walking my talk. I was happy, fulfilled, and trusted that my world was perfectly imperfect.
I was convinced that I was living by magic when my childhood sweetie re-entered my life and I eventually made plans to move cross-country with my 3 kids to be with him.
Then in no time at all, my perfectly imperfect life all went to hell. My relationship was a struggle, he dismissed all I'd learned and loved as "silly," and I began to believe him.
I gave away my books, quit my recovery program, and spent many days in tears. Where had my happy and fulfilling life slipped away to?
The harsh truth was that I had not fully trusted my reality, so I tapped into his, instead. And in doing so, I began to slowly lose it all again: my serenity, my recovery, and my spirituality--hallmark symptoms of co-dependency.
It took many years to recover myself from underneath another addict. I was stunned at how quickly I'd fallen, and appalled with myself because I knew better.
How could I have done this again?
Fast forward several years later. I just returned from another powerfully, life-changing workshop and I was reminded how much I love my Tribe of Weirdos who strive to become the best version of themselves.
I have recovered more of myself, but this wasn't my first rodeo. I know that searching for what stirs my soul is healing. I had it once, lost it, then searched again. But making sure I hang onto whatever it is that makes me feels alive is key.
What about you?
Where have you been losing your soul, your Mojo, or yourself as you dismiss who you really are? It's never too late to reclaim yourself and your life.
Follow what leads you, make joy your goal, and listen to your small but steady voice that keeps calling you Home.
Then never, ever let it go.
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