"Most people don't know that there are angels whose only job is to make sure you don't get too comfortable and fall asleep and miss your life.”
I did not know that the letter sitting in my mailbox on that fateful first day of April was going to shatter everything I thought I knew about my life. I could not have sensed as I skipped to the curb on that sunny afternoon that more bad news was already unfolding.
I also could not have known that the letter was sent by an angel. Someone who knew about my husband's infidelities. Someone who was brave enough to tell me.
Twenty years later, I still don't know who sent the letter, but I don't care. The point is, it did its job, and the person who sent it is still my hero, because the letter forced me to look more deeply at a marriage that had been feeling strained and confusing for years.
How many people actually stand up for what is right? Would you send an anonymous letter to your colleague's wife, knowing a few penned words exposing his infidelities would shatter her world?
He or she could not have known as they placed a stamp on the envelope that the letter would ultimately crush my marriage, dissolve our bank accounts, and take a father away from his children. But he/she also could not have known that I would take that opportunity to change my life on every level, and survive it with a grateful heart.
Whatever their motivation for sending it, they did not know what my reaction would be. I could've slit my wrists, or harmed my children, or gone crazy. Their motivation must've only been about integrity, honesty, and love. They knew they were sharing an emotionally-charged and potentially volatile piece of information, but it was disclosed anyway. He/she must've known that I needed to know the information, and sending the letter was the right thing to do.
And that, I believe, is the act of an angel.
Because it was ultimately the very best thing that could've happened for everyone concerned--me, my children, and even my ex-husband. A necessary healing was allowed to happen and four lives were spared.
Before then, I was missing my life by not listening to the quiet, but persistent, messages that kept telling me that something was wrong. I had fallen asleep. I allowed discontent and denial to take up space in my life and heart, and it took a letter from a stranger to wake me up.
What about you? What are you tamping down (again and again) so you don't have to hear it or see it? What makes you so uncomfortable in your life that you won't talk about it? What are you afraid of facing?
Let the current of life take you where you need to go. Let the angels deliver their messages, in whatever form they arrive, and accept them with a grateful heart. As an alive and feeling human being, painful events are sure to happen, guaranteed.
But don't let those painful events win by becoming angry or bitter. Don't cop out on your life by turning against it, or by staying in denial. Those painful moments are not meant to win...
The struggling relationship, the boring and unfulfilling job, the cancer diagnosis, or the addicted child all exist for the sole purpose of waking you up...
So that you don't stay asleep and miss your life.
For that would be the biggest heartbreak of all.